God & Sex – 10 things you didn’t know
So this Sunday, as a Valentine’s Day special, the Intro Course is hosting what is likely to be one of the most fun and fiercely debated evenings so far on the subject of ‘God and Sex’. Now because people generally think God has a negative and a low view of sex, to give people a taster of what we’ll be looking at and to get the discussion going I thought I’d write a short blog post, backed up by the Scriptures, about 10 things you probably didn’t know about God and sex.
Let me know if you think differently.
(1) God knows how to get the best sex.
This may sound surprising but think about it; (a) God invented sex (Genesis 1-2), (b) God is all knowing (Psalm 139:2-4)) and (c) God created us for the greatest pleasure imaginable (Psalm 16:11). When you put all that together you have to agree that above any human being or sex expert, God knows how to get the best sex.
Let me get more provocative…
(2) God knows the best sex positions.
Now some of you may think me irreverant for saying so (I was going to call the title of my talk on Sunday “Jesus is a sex God” but I thought that may seem irreverent to some so didn’t!) but again, think about the logic. If point number 1 is right, then it goes without saying that the all-knowing inventor of sex who made us to know the greatest pleasure possible knows the best sex positions.
If you are cringing at the thought of God knowing sex positions, your view of God is too small and based on culture, upbringing, religion, church experience and the Priest/Minister more than what the Scriptures say. For example, in the bible you’ll read stuff like this (from the Song of Songs, a 3000 year old sexual manual):
How beautiful your sandalled feet, O prince’s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies…How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.” (Song of Songs 6:13b-7:9)
When you have a Hebrew worldview like those in the Old Testament where everything in this world is a gift from God to be enjoyed, then you will have no trouble acknowledging that God knows the best sex positions. By the way, I have been told our bible translators have not had the guts to translate this verse as accurately as the original Hebrew and “navel” is not the best translation…you can work it out!!
(3) God tells us to have lots of sex
It is easy to overlook that the FIRST COMMANDMENT in the bible is not “thou shalt not…” but rather “go forth and multiply” (Genesis 1:27). Is that not amazing, that the first thing God tells humanity is to go and have sex? Now, that is my kind of God!
Here is a verse from the book of Proverbs which follows a similar line; a father is counselling his son:
“Drink water from your own well — share your love only with your wife… Let your wife be a fountain of blessing. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love”. (Proverbs 5:15-19)
(4) God is cool with oral sex and sex outside
The song of songs is so graphic at points. Here is a clear reference to oral sex:
“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.” (Song of Songs 2:3-5)
…and here is a reference to making love outside:
“Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover.” (Song of Songs 7:11-13)
(5) God says a wife and a husband have a responsibility to make sure their partner is sexually satisfied.
1 Corinthians 7 is a great passage on God’s design for sex, marriage and singleness. I like verses 2-3 particularly:
Each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
It is well worth telling your other half that “God is speaking to me through 1 Corinthians 7:2-3” – haha! But the chapter goes on to say…
(6) God says one of the greatest tricks of the devil is to STOP people having sex.
Someone famous once said that the greatest trick the devil played was to convince the world he didn’t exist. Well another great trick of his is to stop people having sex. We often think that God is the spoil sport and the devil is the one offering us all the pleasure. The BEST the devil can do is twist the pleasureable things God has given us.
If you don’t believe me just read these two verses:
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 8:5)
Or this one says that it is the “doctrine of demons” to stop people having sex:
The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons… They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe…(1 Timothy 4:4)
(7) God wants us to stop selling ourselves short in the area of sex
Given everything I have said so far, it stands to reason that God is not ‘tut-tutting’ at us and our views on sex but rather wondering why we are selling ourselves so short. C.S Lewis put it brilliantly when he said:
“Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S Lewis, Mere Christianity)
(8) God is in the room when you have sex
Just as God is all knowing, he is also omnipresent which means he is everywhere (Psalm 139:7-9). This means he is in the room every time you have sex.
Ever thought of that? Does it change your view of sex? It shouldn’t if you have a Hebrew worldview!!
(9) God is more interested in our hearts than our actions (kind of..)
Jesus famously said in the Sermon on the Mount:
‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)
And he said this when a woman caught in adultery was about to be stoned by the religious folk of the day:
Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ (John 8:7)
Jesus is more concerned with what is going on in our hearts than what is going on with our sex organs…kind of! Why do I say that? Well Jesus says the most important thing to him is our hearts and you can (a) live a very moral life but do it for your own self-worth and not for him; in which case all your righteous acts are but filthy rags to him. Or (b), you can live a very licentious life but your heart yearns for him to help you; in which case, he may not be pleased with your actions but he can see your heart and wants to help you. In both scenarios, Jesus is more interested in the position of our hearts than our past/present sexual activity.
Why do I say “kind of”? Because Jesus tells us that our actions are always an overflow of our hearts; they reveal what is in our hearts (Matthew 6:19-24). So ultimately you cannot separate the two.
(10) God wants us to be more humble when it comes to sex
We live in a sex obsessed culture, but it is a culture that is sexually out of control. People are hurting and people are turning to counterfeit forms of sex to satisfy their desires. We think we have it all sorted and we think God has nothing helpful to say to us about sex. It is my contention that we have got this all wrong and actually since (a) God gave us the gift of sex (b) he is a good and all knowing God and (c) he wants us to experience the greatest pleasure, we should actually listen to what he has to say without dismissing it outright.
The book of Proverbs puts it well. Chapters 5-7 are about a father counselling his son about sex and one refrain is helpful for me:
“Keep my commands and you will live, guard my teaching as the apple of your eye” (Proverbs 7:2)
Maybe we should stop and consider the commands and teaching of God when it comes to sex. Maybe I am wrong to think that, but it is surely worth a conversation don’t you think?
Do come and discuss and share your views this Sunday, 7.30pm at Third Space Café in Smithfield.
Let the games begin…!!